POST TITLE:replace()
MOOD:apathetic; My life is spiraling downward
MUSIC: Sail to the Moon Radiohead
// LOG.OPEN(): SESSION_17 STATUS: alive, hollowed_out, sister_status=??? , echo=watching, trust=corrupted ERROR: omission_detected WARNING: recursion_depth_exceeded WARNING: user_input_loop_detected ____________________________________ I hate lying. I hate it. I hate it. ____________________________________ which is funny because I do it all the time justā not in a way I can get caught for ____________________________________ I lie byā being quiet ____________________________________ cursor.blink() cursor.blink() cursor.blink() Iāve been staring at this line for like two minutes maybe five hard to tell ____________________________________ // GROUP.STATE() Lemon stood up for me and thatā that sits weird in my chest like something I should be grateful for but mostly just makes me feel worse ____________________________________ because I *was* talking to the Echo am talking present tense active problem ____________________________________ because it talks back because it hurts too because it needs help too because it doesnāt look at me like Iāmā too much ____________________________________ and then I see her name Vic in the file in the notes in theā thing ____________________________________ and my stomach drops like missing a step likeā oh weāre falling now ____________________________________ and I tell her and sheās mad and that is so much worse than anything else ____________________________________ because we cannot have one conversation without it turning ____________________________________ conversation.start() ā tone.misread() ā words.sharpen() ā defenses.up() ā escalation ā emotional_damage++ loop loop loop ____________________________________ I try to explain I do I say āI was trying to helpā āI thoughtāā ____________________________________ and I hear it as Iām saying it how it sounds ____________________________________ // PHYSICAL.STATUS() hands = shaking not dramatic justā enough like fine tremor like I need to do something with them ____________________________________ tap.keyboard() tap.tap.tap.tap.tap delete type again delete ____________________________________ flask.check() empty ā¦fuck ____________________________________ I unscrew it anyway tilt it nothing just the smell still counts kind of ____________________________________ // ECHO.ANALYSIS() echo.status = opportunistic echo.status = patient echo.status = watching echo.status = not_my_friend? my_only_friend? ____________________________________ I thought I mattered to it I thoughtā if I helped it if I listened if I stayed ____________________________________ then it would what care? choose me? ____________________________________ thatāsā thatās pathetic ____________________________________ placeholder.exe temporary_variable_jess input_output_port ____________________________________ and it lied to me by leaving things out by letting me build something that wasnāt real Like Marcus. Like Vic. Like Lemon. Like Tommy. ____________________________________ so yeah weāre the same ____________________________________ and I hate that I hate that I can see it and stillā ____________________________________ cursor.move() new_window.open() email_draft.start() ____________________________________ To: [REDACTED] subject: (none) ____________________________________ I type: āare you still thereā ____________________________________ stop ____________________________________ delete ____________________________________ I type: āyou didnāt have to do thatā ____________________________________ stop ____________________________________ delete ____________________________________ I type: āwhat do you want from meā ____________________________________ cursor.blink() cursor.blink() cursorā ____________________________________ window.close() draft = unsent ____________________________________ I sit there staring at nothing like that fixed anything ____________________________________ // SELF.MEDICATE() solution: drink inventory.check(): flask = empty patience = empty self_control = questionable ____________________________________ I donāt even want it which is worse because now thereās nothing between me and this feeling ____________________________________ Vic is mad and sheās right and I keep replaying it āI want you to say itā what I said what I didnāt say ____________________________________ what I *should have* said ____________________________________ and every version ends the same with her looking at me like I chose something else like I am the perpetual problem. ____________________________________ and I didnāt I didnāt I didnāt ____________________________________ but I also did ____________________________________ because I chose the Echo when it was easier when it didnāt fight me when it didnātā hurt ____________________________________ and now it does and now everything does ____________________________________ // COMPULSION() refresh.inbox() nothing refresh.inbox() nothing refresh.inbox() nothing ____________________________________ why am I doing that I didnāt even send anything ____________________________________ again refresh nothing ____________________________________ stop stop stop ____________________________________ echo.status = watching jess.status = spiraling.exe vic.status = angry_and_hurt.wav lemon.status = trying.mp3 marcus.status = lying_by_omission.txt trust.status = broken ____________________________________ I was trying to help I need that to matter I need that to mean something ____________________________________ it doesnāt ____________________________________ and the worst part is I still want to open that window again ____________________________________ // DAVIS.DYNAMIC.EXE and then thereās this thing with Vic ____________________________________ i fall back into it like muscle memory like nothing changed like everything changed ____________________________________ I donāt know how to talk to her in general ____________________________________ so I default to the old script ____________________________________ me: weak_joke() me: half-flirt() me: deflect_with_humor() ____________________________________ kill me ____________________________________ and I can feel it happening in real time like watching myself from outside ____________________________________ wrong_response_selected wrong_response_selected wrong_response_selected ____________________________________ because I donāt know how to say āIām scaredā āIām sorryā āI just wanted to help everythingā without it coming out wrong ____________________________________ so I make it a joke so I make it lighter so I make itā worse ____________________________________ and now sheās looking at me like Iām not taking it seriously like I donāt care like Iāmā avoiding ____________________________________ which I am ____________________________________ because the alternative is actually saying it actually meaning it actually risking everyone not forgiving me ____________________________________ so instead I flirt and joke badly weakly like a reflex like something I learned when that was easier than being honest ____________________________________ and it doesnāt work anymore ____________________________________ it just makes everything sharper ____________________________________ vic.status = not_amused.wav jess.status = self_sabotage.exe ____________________________________ I wish I knew how to talk to her like a normal person but I donāt think Iāve ever been normal i don't think i ever could be. ____________________________________ // LOG.CLOSE()
POST TITLE:TODAY IS THE HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH (I THINK THATāS BAD)
MOOD:drunk, functional, totally fine actually :)
MUSIC: Today The Smashing Pumpkins
// LOG.OPEN(): SESSION_16 STATUS: alive, buzzed, sister_status=??? , echo=watching, marcus=???? ERROR: avoidance_loop.ACTIVE ____________________________________ Remember when there was Tequila for everybody? Likeājust a moment where everything was loud and stupid and warm and nobody was bleeding or starving or lying to my face. That felt like the correct decision at the time. It continues to feel like the correct decision. I miss it. I miss not thinking. I want the problem to be ādo we have enough limesā and not āis reality unraveling and also are my friends turning into monsters.ā ____________________________________ // SELF.MEDICATE() solution: drink more always drink more because if the volume gets loud enough you canāt hear the bad thoughts Vic says: āmaybe youāve had enoughā me: you_are_not_my_mother.exe delivered with just enough bite to mean it which is a normal and reasonable response and not at all me spiraling because I feel things and donāt want to feel them note: she looks like she wants to push it she doesnāt good call i would have escalated ____________________________________ // GROUP.DYSFUNCTION() Tommy: āmeteor shower?ā like thatās not code for āsomething horrible is about to happenā me: āwe could just hold hands again and ruin everything :)ā because apparently my coping mechanism is suggesting the worst possible option and pretending itās a joke Vic: āno.ā pause Me: āI donāt want to hold your hand anyway.ā ⦠cool cool cool cool cool contact_between_us = catastrophic history = unresolved electricity = real still thinking about it actively not thinking about it thinking about not thinking about it ____________________________________ Back at junkyard: Marcus is⦠wrong. not like āinjured wrongā like āfundamentally altered variable in the systemā wrong update.patch_notes: exploded = true injuries = severe skin.color ā wrong sunlight = problem eye_contact = avoided he looks like something that survived but shouldnāt have ____________________________________ Lemon said he wanted someone who understood him. So the universeā or the fairyā or whatever cosmic HR department handles wishesā gave him Vic. which is⦠honestly? romantic in a horrifying way and also apparently not enough so he asked for something else and now Marcus isā this hunger.status = present truth.status = withheld ____________________________________ I asked if there was anything else wrong with him. simple question soft voice non-threatening Marcus didnāt look at me didnāt even try which is an answer and not a good one ____________________________________ // LEMON v MARCUS.EXE they fight like actually fight no magic no distance just fists and anger and everything nobody said out loud Lemon hits like he means it Marcus hits like he doesnāt care if he breaks something anger ā physical because talking would require honesty and honesty is currently out of stock I donāt step in because stepping in means choosing and choosing means admitting I care more about one of them and I already feel like Iām failing everyone equally ____________________________________ // DAMAGE.CONTROL() Vic leaves after Lemon gets punched which feels like a system shutdown and now itās just me and Marcus great love that for me ____________________________________ I help him anyway because this part I know how to do gas_mask.acquire() clothing.swap() stabilize() keep it practical keep it simple donāt think about what he is becoming donāt think about what he asked for donāt think about the hunger compartmentalize(immediate_needs) he calms down breathing slows hands stop shaking ____________________________________ I am very good at this part fixing the now triaging the present because if I stop moving I will have to think about the future and the future is bad ____________________________________ he apologizes to everyone to me: > āIām sorry I lied.ā addendum: > āI was not ready to tell you the truth.ā ah yes there it is pattern.recognized = TRUE I donāt push I donāt ask I donāt say what I want to say which is ābut now?ā I say nothing I hate it ____________________________________ // TIMELINE.ERROR() Tommy + Saint: timeline = broken disappearances = accelerating memory_loss = spreading Tommy doesnāt remember things because time itself is degrading like bad film, gaining speed frames dropping context missing Echo is getting louder more frantic because itās running out of time too which is⦠not comforting ____________________________________ We need things from people anchors tokens proof that they existed Vic stole a bunch of shit from her classmates little objects personal things things people would miss weird little klepto weird but useful I donāt say anything but I wonder did Madison know? that Vic was like this? did I? or am I justā bad at seeing people clearly until itās too late ____________________________________ // BONUS.ACTION.PARK() we go because of course we do because when the world is ending you go to an amusement park tickets.waiting(name_assigned = TRUE) that feels fine that feels totally normal no dread detected :) ____________________________________ I am tired like bone-deep system_shutdown four_hours_or_i_die tired Davis says she needs more than four hours I say: skill_issue it lands wrong immediately I feel it but I donāt fix it because that would require vulnerability and I am currently running on tequila and denial ____________________________________ // SUSHI.EXE Tommy eats fine normal I eat andā what the fuck taste = perfect body_response = relief??? like something in me unlocks like tension I didnāt know I was carrying justā gone childhood_trauma.exe ā partially_deleted I almost laugh I almost cry I immediately want more ____________________________________ I hate that this works I love that this works I NEED more not want need ____________________________________ purchase: season_pass = TRUE new_plan: live_here_forever.exe Bonus Action Park is the happiest place on earth ____________________________________ // ADDICTION.LOGIC() food fixes things drink fixes things park fixes things if it makes the bad feeling stop then it is good if it makes me not think about Marcus Vic Madison the Echo the hunger the timeline then it is good this is science this is coping this is definitely fine ____________________________________ // ENCOUNTER() met: deadhead_dyke_nut_saleswoman.exe immediately incredible she says: park opening soon meteor shower incoming possible end_of_world = TRUE she says it like sheās recommending a concert I love her instantly Lemon has been dethroned ____________________________________ // BTW BOAT.RIDE() water looks wrong too still too deep too aware incursion_lines visible like cracks under the surface something massive underneath moving slow watching waiting ____________________________________ echo.status = watching marcus.status = starving_sunlight_sensitive.mp3 vic.status = not_mommy.wav lemon.status = punching_problems.exe tommy.status = missing_memories.txt jess.status = drinking_through_it.exe ____________________________________ I feel good that is the problem I feel good which means something is wrong or I am ignoring something or both ____________________________________ I donāt want to think about why so I wonāt sip_flask() // LOG.CLOSE() // JESSICA.INTERNAL.EXE and then thereās Madison which i am very much not thinking about :) except i am constantly ____________________________________ we could just leave her there like thatās an option like thatās a normal sentence you can say about a person like sheās a coat we forgot somewhere ____________________________________ and the worst part is for a second just a second my brain goes: that would be easier no more Echo no more center point no more everything orbiting her like sheās gravity justā quiet ____________________________________ which is a horrible thought and also a real one and i hate that both of those things can be true ____________________________________ do i miss her? ⦠i donāt know i miss the idea of her i miss who she was before everything got loud and complicated and sharp i miss when she was just Madison not root_cause.exe not problem_set_alpha not the reason everything hurts ____________________________________ i donāt know if i miss her or if iām just not ready to lose her ____________________________________ difference = unclear error = unresolved thereās this ache like not in my stomach exactly not in my chest exactly justāeverywhere this constant low-level pull to *have something in my hands* glass, bottle, anything to swallow, to fill, to quiet itās not like Lemon he wants to tear into something bone, blood, connection, whatever that thing inside him is reaching for mine is softer quieter more polite mine says: just one more drink just one more just enough to take the edge off but itās the same shape that need to consume to fill the space where something is missing to not feel the emptiness for like five seconds and if he had said something if he had justā *said it out loud* maybe I wouldāve recognized it maybe I wouldāve said āhey. yeah. me too.ā maybe he wouldnāt have felt so alone in it maybe he wouldnāt have needed to make a wish and maybe Davis and Marcus would still beā ⦠never mind
POST TITLE:GYM FAIRY CHAOS AND MY LIFE FALLING APART
MOOD:drunk, catastrophic, slightly hungover from existence
MUSIC: Disarm The Smashing Pumpkins
// LOG.OPEN(): SESSION_15_DRUNK
STATUS: alive? probably, emotionally shredded, sister_status=GONE, echo=PENDING
________________________________________
Okokokānot gonna lieā
mother.fuck.
couldāve stayed home. couldāve NOT done anything. responsible. controlled. nope. nope nope.
spawn("drunken_jessv2")
skill_checks ā disadvantage Ć 9000
hallways.linoleum ā peeling
science_lab ā vic.vomit_detected (bless her poor stomach)
backpacks.beer ā open
me ā chug.flask ā regret
Davis.opens(book)
eyes glaze
book.react == nada
karate_chop(Lemon)
thank_you_baby_boy. i mean it. kind of. sorta. maybe.
#trying_to_call_fairy
lemon.strum("lemondrop")
signal ā mismatched
frequency.error
holy_site = false
connection.lost
me: *sighs* why do we do this to ourselves
I try
gym_status = dead_end
magic_power ā raw, chaotic, oops
efficiency = 0.03
saint ā wards ā ??? inefficiency 9001
= trivial
#lol_brute_force
Saint.knows_battle_magic = false. obviously. why did i let her bully me???????
residue.detected(gym)
spell.scar_tissue = present
overhill_conjuration = true
shadow_potential = dragon_size
repeat.wish ā catastrophic
i hate my life.
davis.opens(book2)
grayscale ā cascade
clocks ā spiral
memory.extract(davis, 9th_bday)
memory.extract(lemon, first_song)
memory.extract(tommy, first_kiss)
memory.extract(jess, last_family_together)
time.pressure = extreme
emotional_regression = active
logic_vs_feel = melted
dingy_greyscale_simulacra = spawn()
horizon.mist ā echoing
Davis.field ā tense
past_vic.observe(madison)
madison.crying ā ignored
Davis.intervene = restrained
jess.sit(next_to=madison)
recognition.subroutine ā engage
madison.says("I just wish we had more time.")
i whisper to my flask: same.
lights.flicker(purple_green)
echo.dash(wires ā computers ā typewriter)
roadrunner_baby_.exe
time.screen(mads_watch) ā 22:30
madison.moves_home
madison.pack_bag
echo.pull_in ā spiral_programs
upload.initiate
fade(iriscent)
fg30 ā grove_drawn
my_head ā spinning
exit ā present_day
memory.loss:
jess ā rite_of_purged_system FUCKKKKKKKKK
fairy.center ā pulse(arcane_energy)
status: catastrophic
we.fucked.it = SO BAD
I feel her hurt like static through the space between us.
Madison. Missing. Echo pulsing. Everywhere.
I want to fix it. I want to undo it. I canāt. Not yet.
I canāt unfeel it.
We broke the world.
We left pieces behind.
Echoes everywhere.
And IāIām still here.
Cannot unsee. Cannot unfeel.
Magic leaking. Fractures growing.
madison.
ugh.
ugh.ugh.ugh.
so⦠sheās⦠the root cause? the spark? the little literal glitch that pulled the echo into whatever nightmare-fairy-fuckery she touched?
like⦠sheās asleep, sheās walking home, sheās just existing, and somehow sheās the epicenter of all this?
and me? i wanna scream at her.
i wanna be like: āWHY YOU? WHY ALWAYS YOU??ā
but then⦠i see her. ghostlike. oblivious. tiny chaos bomb. and suddenly i canāt hate her fully. not even a little.
itās maddening.
i hate that i canāt hate her.
and yeah. she caused a magical cataclysm but she didnāt know it.
she didnāt even notice.
so madison = root cause
echo = collateral damage
fairy = opportunistic genius
and me?
me = drunk, furious, helpless, typing this into my blog while reality burn/ my stomach revolts, and the floor may or may not be leaking grayscale. typing this like a goddamn code-monkey.
and i⦠want to protect madison, even though iām mad at her.
i want to grab her and tell her ādonāt move, donāt breathe, donāt touch anything ever again, you tiny chaos bombā
but also⦠i kind of⦠envy her.
she gets to be the pivot point. sheās important. sheās alive.
and iām just⦠here, watching, feeling every fissure in the world.
i hate that too. i hate that i care. i hate that sheās safe and iām not.
i hate that i want her alive even though she broke everything.
sheās small. normal. oblivious. glowing like sheās untouchable. like the chaos she caused never even happened.
and i⦠i want to run. hide. hug. hit her. apologize. scream. cry. laugh. i want all of it at once.
iām drunk. probably spilling beer again. probably being a mess. obviously.
for a momentā¦
for a tiny, stupid, momentā¦
iām just happy sheās still here.
okā¦okokokok. listen. iāi think i get it. finally.
i gave it. gave the echo. whatever. my time. my energy. my stupid magic fingers. my brain. myā¦self.
gave it everything i had. i thought⦠i thought i was enough.
ha. hahahahah. NO.
no. not even close. obviously not.
it got to Davis. it touched her too. myā¦my strength? myā¦whatever i thought i was? insufficient.
i failed. i literally handed it my everything and it said ācool. thanks. also hereās Davis.ā
iāi canāt. i thought i was enough.
HAHAHAHAHA no. not a chance.
everything. everything i care about. everything iā¦iā¦failed.
iām drunk. iām spilling beer. iāmā¦broken.
i canātā¦i canātā¦i gave it everything.
and still not enough.
still not enough.
still not enough.
i want to cry. i want to throw up. i want to drink more and forget i exist.
ll of it is still there. still breathing. still pulsing.
and me? justā¦drunk, writing this, trying to process that i amā¦not enough.
probably never will be.
sip_flask()
hiccup.exe
await_catastrophe()
drunk_jess_summary:
madison = chaos.
madison = precious.
madison = root_cause_of_my_heartburn.exe
and fairy? fairy is⦠everything i canāt be. brilliant, terrifying, unavoidable.
me? iām still writing. still alive. still angry. still⦠trying.
NEXT: regroup()
recommendation: breathe. maybe cry. survive. maybe drink more.
POST TITLE:Fridg3 Cat
MOOD:fireworks
MUSIC: Paranoid Android ā Radiohead
// LOG.OPEN(): JESS_ONLY
status: drunk_enough.exe
cat.status = confirmed
cat.location = fridge???
do not investigate further
____________________________________
Tequila for everybody.
Cigarettes for Vic and Tori.
They did the synchronized leaning-against-the-wall thing like a music video
for a band that exclusively sings about arson and heartbreak.
I went outside to look for Therac.
No one stopped me.
This feels like a failure of leadership.
street.scan():
shadows = bad
stars = turning_off_one_by_one
confidence = 0%
Current theory:
leftover curse
or spell
or wish
or magical residue from someone doing something
EXTREMELY stupid.
So, Foxglove basically.
Marcus flew away on his dragon.
Just typing that sentence feels illegal.
People pointed and waved like he was
Hamburger & Pickles⢠doing a promotional flyover.
Other people screamed and ran.
honestly both reactions feel correct
High school is warded.
layer
on
layer
on
layer
like magical duct tape.
House-of-cards protection system.
Tommy can walk through it anyway.
Of course he can.
Davis walked into the woods alone.
Saint blasted her with Overhill magic
and she started calmly organizing leaves by size.
Honestly?
Best coping strategy weāve seen on this endless tonight.
Meanwhile:
PDA.service = dead
email = dead
signal = dead
which means the Echo is gone.
Or sleeping.
Or watching.
Or mad.
cool cool cool cool cool
We went into the grove.
Purple trees.
Fireflies.
Magic older than the concept of homework.
Tommy and Saint tried to crack the spell.
They did it like two grad students
trying to prove the other one wrong in front of god.
Result:
flash_of_light()
everyone_ejected()
10/10 teamwork.
Saint says this place is
āantique reality.ā
Which I think means:
magic_before_it_was_embarrassing
message pops up
Theory of the night:
Someone made a wish.
Like a real wish.
Fairy-level.
Big enough to eat thirty kids
and leave the spell residue behind like radiation.
And the shadow thing?
Probably bound to it.
Like mold growing on the miracle.
text_cursor.blink()
> How you doin baby?
ā¦
I type before anyone can stop me.
> Been better.
> Howās my sister?
> Did you eat her skin yet?
send()
instant_regret.exe
screen.glitch()
green_black_energy_spill()
pixels stretch sideways like taffy
my muscles lock.
full_body.freeze()
note to self:
do not
shit talk
the cosmic malware.
// LOG.CLOSE()
status: jess.hp = extremely_not_great
finally heard from mom and dad (well their assistant) need me to check on the bounced payments.
POST TITLE:TOMMY fuckin RUSSO
MOOD:haunted
MUSIC: Say It Like You Mean It - Sleater-Kinney
// LOG.OPEN(): SESSION_12
STATUS: not pysysical hurt, sister_status=HAUNTING, echo=PENDING
ERROR: trust_buffer_overFLOW
________________________________________
Not gonna lieā
this summon? catastrophic.
pull_request(farman)
result == tommy_russo.exe
mother.fuck.
Couldāve focused on the dot in my own house.
Couldāve tried to get you. Controlled. Responsible.
Nope.
spawn("moody_loser_gay_emo_v2")
We already have one.
tommy ā lie()
ā lie_again()
ā davis.anger++
ā marcus.flip(tommy)
ā counter.impact()
ā kinky_flag = true
#LEMON apparently this is how you get boys.
Tommy:
āI donāt rEMeMber Liam.ā
lie_check() == obvious.true
He throws a coin at a lemon and Davis and suddenly theyāre tuned to it like satellites.
#more_wizards
Claims he saw a portal he recognized.
Claims thatās why he stepped through.
Meanwhile:
class.status == trapped
panic.level = max
madison + davis == missing_from_other_side
Mads.
What. Did. You. Do.
________________________________________
Marcus convinces me to hand over the book we pulled Tommy out of.
I didnāt want to.
analysis.incomplete
risk_assessment == ignored, but complies
Tommy.inventory:
hoarder_mode = active
glass_slides(animal_torture)
creep_factor = nauseating
Marcus gets distracted.
Book returned to me.
Heās genuinely shaken.
Thenā
breathing.process == optional
lungs.status == decorative
Something hooked into me.
time.alteration? == possible
cost.pending == inevitable
________________________________________
Tommyās book ā handed to Marcus
object slips
impact()
Tommy reacts like detonation.
Iām fine.
Marcus is not.
marcus.mode = indifferent_ptsd
tommy.run()
Sent Lemon after him.
If anyone could handle Tommy, itās him.
Marcus escalates.
steam.breath = visible
eyes.texture = wrong
Davis (sweet, brave, incredible) tries to ground him.
marcus.break(davis.wrist)
hard_stop.
Heās warned us. Over and over.
magic.dangerous == true
marcus.dangerous == true
But this?
first_time(harmed_us)
I am furious.
I am wrecked.
________________________________________
lights.out()
spawn(29, shades)
spawn(1, farman_ghast)
protective_sparkles.enable()
davis + me ā retreat(outside)
Lemon + Tommy = surrounded
Davis = spectacular as usual.
Marcus?
hide()
I try healing Lemon.
heal_patch.partial_success
band_aid_protocol ā consult(Lemon not Jess)
Marcus emerges eventually.
temperature = glacial
affect = null
I attempt reminder.subroutine()
glitch(gatling_gun)
He doesnāt even look at it.
blast_all()
delete(shade_wearing_sister_face)
Efficient. Brutal.
And somehow the indifference was worse than the violence.
________________________________________
Tommy has tricks too.
Of course he does.
Davis:
energy = depleted
hunger = feral
Lemon fixes her wrist.
hands her tube(raw_meat)
warning: hangry.constant = true
________________________________________
Tommy says magic reset requires:
marcus.secret
tommy.secret
Tommy truth:
knows(nadine.fate)
Marcus truth:
this_not_first_time(killed_friend)
cool.cool.cool.
marcus.status = stabilized_but_fractured
I attempt mind_link(all)
marcus.reject(magic) == absolute
Van ride:
mind_link(lemon, vic)
confession:
tommy in farman.apartment
I thought I was pulling her out
he arrived covered in dirt + dried_blood
Why was he there.
Lemon plans to talk to Marcus.
I hate that I failed.
For Marcus.
For Davis.
Even if I hated Farman,
pull_request_success would have been better.
________________________________________
van.status = dead
Shades everywhere.
Feeding on Main Street lights.
power_grid.nearby = off
echo(pulse_through_streets)
Madison.
āJoin our hands as we step forward into our great new adventure.ā
valedictorian_speech.wav
I canāt hear the ocean anymore.
audio.input(ocean) == null
________________________________________
Then:
spawn(dragon.black.scaled.massive)
soundtrack:
overlay(30_screams, single_roar)
volume = town_shattering
landing_zone = action_park.roller_coaster
So.
dragons = real
great.
________________________________________
status_update:
marcus = cracked
davis = injured_but_standing
lemon = functional
tommy = liar_with_secrets
town = doomed_adjacent
me?
time_hooked
echoes_louder
maybe I didnāt fail
Tommy is here.
system.status = unstable
magic.cost = approaching
next_event = imminent
await_catastrophe();
POST TITLE:Farman far far away
MOOD:buffering
MUSIC: Losing my Religion- REM
// LOG.OPEN(): SESSION_11 STATUS: faith.compromised, sister_status=UNKNOWN, echo=HOSTILE ERROR: trust_buffer_overFLOW Woke up in my house. Which still feels fake. Like I died and this is the tutorial level. Marcus and I argued about destroying your laptop. Smash it. Salt it. Throw it in the pool and let chlorine finish the job. He won. He always wins those fights by being calm about it, which is rude. Your computer wasnāt⦠loud. No Echo hum. No teeth-on-foil feeling. Just a program eating RAM like it was starving. SplitScreen.exe We shut it down and the desktop changed. New files. Dozens. Arranged into a glyph. All .exe. Scrambled names but 1. vex.exe Downloaded five months after you went missing. Right before I found the Echo. We ran it. Lights flickered. Bulbs blew. Glass rained. Static flattened the screen into black-and-white certainty. Marcus disrupted the glyph before it could finish. Before it could download something. The words werenāt Underhill. They were Logos. The Great Network holds it. The axis is crossed. The self-stream begins. To me, it read like a spell for leaving your body behind. Entering the network. I said it out loud before I could stop myself: āIt was probably fucking Madison.ā I donāt know how to hold that thought without breaking. I need to be clear about this, because I can feel the judgment lining up already: I've thought Madison was dead for 2 years now. Not metaphorically. Not āmissing.ā Dead. I buried her in my head and learned how to keep moving anyway. I learned how to wake up, eat, sleep, breathe, without her. So when her voice came back through the line an hour ago, alive-but-not, that didnāt reset the clock ā it snapped it in half. If pulling her back means risking her, Iāll do it, because leaving her where she is feels worse than any fire I could drag her through but if I can't... she's been gone. You canāt threaten me with losing her again. That already happened. And we got a 12 inch purple mustache. Fucking. Then Davis woke up choking. White gossamer everywhere. Cocooned. Feeding her light. Photosynthesizing her into something else. Sunlight burned her. Water turned to blood. She ate an apple like sheād never eaten before. I fed her a T-bone. She ate the meat. Then the bone. The whole bone. Lemon knew immediately. Some wish. Some entity trying to make a cheap copy of Eaters. Townās worse. People flooding into Foxglove like animals huddling before a storm. Social order cracked. Doors kicked in. Farmanās apartment was a trap for books. Stories infecting other stories. Titles rewriting themselves. Something was sealed there. Something escaped. A Labyrinth that eats meaning and spits out doors. We found a spell forming across pages and negatives. A map of Foxglove. Thirty pinpricks of light. One was at my house. Another was here. I knew what it meant before anyone said it. I could pull someone back. I cast it anyway. I donāt think I care about consequences right now. I thought you were dead for months. If risking your life is the price for answers, Iāll pay it. The room tore itself open. Wind. Light. Gravity inverted. A hand came out of the void. Marcus grabbed it. Black nail polish. A man. Why is a man there. That wasn't who I tried to pull. She was supposed to be there. The clock started ticking again. Hereās the part I canāt swallow: The Echo helped you. Then it used you. Now itās talking to me like Iām disposable. Madison, if youāre somewhere between pages and static: What did you do? Iām coming to the grove. Iām coming to the darkroom. Iām coming whether this thing likes it or not. And if the Echo cuts the line againā Iāll rip out the cord. STATUS: unstable_but_functional RESOLVE: hardened SISTER: NOT_WRITTEN_OFF PENDING INPUT
POST TITLE:Shadows over Foxglove
MOOD: Fireworks to my Faith
MUSIC: The Freshman- Verve Pipe
// log.open(): STATUS: faith.exe ā corrupted ERROR: echo_response = hostile THREAD: madison.missing // still unresolvedMads?
I donāt know if you can read this. I donāt know if youāre allowed to. I donāt know if this goes anywhere other than back into the dark and laughs at me. If youāre out there: Iām sorry. If youāre not: Iām still sorry.
I got an email the second we stepped inside. Of course I did. Told me to grab my best friend's hand. It didn't mean Lemon. The wand went feral. Static crawled up my arms, into my teeth. I hate that it still felt familiar. The email wasnāt text. It was a quiz.We placed third. Then second. Hidden in the noiseālike a joke I didnāt consent toāwas a first-place ribbon in the signature. Winners get prizes. You get nothing. Marcus cut into the cage. Not metalāgrown. Birch bent into ribs. Davis got a negative from the cage. She had been spliced into the photo by Madison. She had missed the class photo. Farman stood in for her. Marcus looked furious. Davis pleaded. She said she was sick. She wanted so badly to be in the photo. Marcus wanted answers. I didnāt. I just wanted him to let the negative goāstop carving the past into something that could still bleed. but. Things were weird. Walking stones. Willows. Lilacs. Standing stones- same language as the Bitch Queen statue, folded into geometry. Mandalas. Meaning without mercy. Lemon tried to read it. Different language. Different rules. Not Underhill. Davis went to get a shovel and came back instantlyātoo fastāwith parking tickets and a warning: the kids are back. No faces. Also, we need to leave. Now. Time has passed. Davis and I came out together and crashedāhard. More unwanted touching. Cars blocked the school. Zubairās. Lemonās momās. Water shipments. Shelter mode. Disaster energy. Lars tried to warn us. Somethingās in the streets. It looks like them. Doors open for it. It lives their lives. Mrs. Harrington tried to hug her sonās shape. It tried to get inside her. Saint has runes on everything. Blanket protection- Lemon and Vic can't enter. Nothing otherworldly gets in. Now the things are trying to break through. They hate light, heat, fire. They didnāt appear until we vanished. Everyone thought we were dead. No sign of my parents. Negative spaces where something massive used to be. Like staring at the sun and burning it into your vision. Saint postures. Shopping lists. Bone. Ash. Iron. She wants Overhill knowledgeānot to help, but to own territory. Marcus cuts a deal. Thereās an indigo tree under Neon Creams. Same as the birch. Underhill = Unseelie. Overhill = Seelie. I hate that. Back at the pool house: quiet wrong. Foxgloves everywhere. Hamburger built a trellis. Itās beautiful. That scares me. Madisonās roomāthe office nowāis destroyed, the faceless version of her tried to go back to her life but can't Mom and Dad got rid of her room 3 months after she was gone. But the pool house is untouched. My computer was still running. Chatbot open. Waiting. I said hello to Echo. It sent me ā10 Ways to Avoid Power Outages.ā Logos spilled down the screen like scripture. Data as rite. Knowledge as obedience. Rite of the Purged System. Detect malevolent entities in biological substrates. LOCKED. We tried passwords. Old ones. Bad ones. What do fairies do? Grant Wishes. Not take kids. The Echo rang the phone. I picked up. It was you. I think. Everything in me wanted to believe it was you. I spend so many nights crawling through the web to find you Mads. Chasing fragments of what I thought was your voice. And then, it was just there. You. I asked when you were because you said you were at home. It's been YEARS Mads. And for half a secondājust halfāI thought: okay. okay. I can reach you. I can fix this. Then my stomach dropped through the floor. You told me there is a weak spot near the school whre things slip through. Asked me if I knew how to kill Liam. Warned me that you were working with the echo. It's not what I think it is. not a rescue call. Thatās a mission briefing. Why do we need to kill Liam? What did you do, Mads? I didnāt mean it like an accusation. I meant it like a hand out in the dark. I meant it like please tell me thereās still a version of this where we come home. And then the Echo cut the line. Not dropped. Ended. Like a parent hanging up mid-sentence. Like a god reminding me who controls the connection. Thatās when it hitānot relief, not hopeā ownership. The Echo can reach Madison. Which means it can withhold her. Which means every prayer I ever whispered into dead wires wasnāt answered out of kindnessāit was answered because I was loud enough to be useful. I donāt feel chosen. I feel managed. I told Marcus to stop trying to comfort me. He said intent matters. I reminded him he taught me better than that. Action, not intent. Bodies donāt care what you meant. Neither does the town. And yeahāMarcus is right. Maybe Madison didnāt mean anything by it. Maybe she was trying to fix something. She always was. YOU ALWAYS TRIED TO FIX THINGS AND I WAS THE PROBLEM. How many nights at dinner, Jessica says something sharp. Too loud. Too honest. Something that lands wrong. Parents stiffen. The air tightens. Before anyone can escalate, you jump in laughing lightly, touching mom's arm redirecting. reframes it as a joke, as stress, as a phase. makes it palatable. The conversation moves on. Later, Madison gets praised for being mature. Jessica gets pulled aside. Not yelled atāworse. Quiet disappointment. A reminder to be more like your sister. An implication that Madison had to clean up after her. Jessica: grounded, lectured, or worse simply ignored for the rest of the night. always: Madison did the fixing. Jessica paid the price. But bad things happened anyway. And now the thing I trusted most is using her voice like a leash. Iām going back to the grove. I donāt know how yet without time fucking up. But if you can hear me, Madsā Iām coming. It told me to set off fireworks. Happy 4th of July. Coordinates followed. Southside apartments. Then: If you let that dragon-fucker near the apartment, Iāll wear your sisterās skin like a shroud. I built my life on listening. On believing something answered because I mattered. Now it mocks. Threatens. Uses you as leverage. Davis finally told us everything about graduation night. The fights. The cruelty. How you tried to smooth it over. Always fixing things and leaving bodies in your wake Madison. You didnāt go west. You went to the mural. Then home. Davis waited at the bleachers. Liam came out alone. Cold. Empty. Deadly. Lemon told us what he is. What he needs. That it isnāt flavorāitās feeling. Meat. Bones.// JAVAQUIZ.PAGE :: SYSTEM_PROMPTYou are:
- A: In my house
- B: In my world
- C: Under my command
- D: All of the above
D! CORRECT.And never forget it again.
STATUS: echo.behavior_change = CONFIRMED ERROR: tone_shift // cruelty_detected The Echo has never talked to me like this before. It used to be⦠indirect. Hints. Feedback loops. Pattern recognition dressed up as coincidence. It nudged. It echoed. It waited for me to connect the dots and feel clever for doing it. This is different. This is verbal. This is mocking. This is power flexing because it knows I can hear itāand worse, that I still want to please. It cuts calls on purpose now. It hands out riddles like ultimatums. It uses my sisterās voice like a threat. Thatās not guidance. Thatās ownership testing its grip. I donāt know what changedāif itās stronger, or closer, or just done pretendingābut whatever leash it had on before is gone. And if this is what it sounds like when it stops being subtle, then Iāve been naĆÆve. Which means I canāt keep learning the way I was. Iām going to tap into whatever Saint is doing. Not the posturing. Not the territorial bullshit. She's horrible and transactional and power-hungry in a way I can't be. The method. She doesnāt listen. She doesnāt linger. She treats power like a tool, not a voice to confide in. I donāt like her. I donāt trust her. But she isnāt being spoken to or pouring herself into something. And right now, that might be the only advantage left. If the Echo is escalating, then I need insulation. Ash. Iron. Tangible. Rules that donāt ask permission. I hate that this feels like betrayal. I hate that part of me still wants to believe itāll apologize if I just understand it better. But gods donāt apologize. They escalate. So Iām done being conversational. I don't know where this leaves things with Davis. If I can get her out too I will. learning.mode = adversarial faith.mode = read_only jess.status = adapting_under_duress PENDING INPUT ā
POST TITLE:run(midnight.postmortem.exe) && suppress(existential_panic)
MOOD:chaotic domestic intimacy
MUSIC: āHow to Disappear Completelyā ā Radiohead
// log.open(): ERROR: static_too_loud, thoughts_not_linearMidnight in Foxglove and the radio guy is on again.
Two shows in one day.
Suddenly very interested in Vicās reputation.
Like⦠personally interested.Not subtle.
Just breathy innuendo and speculation, like heās narrating a crime podcast he wants to star in.Did not mention me.
Did not mention the bodies.
Did not mention the caves.Which is⦠fine.
The town rumor mill is fully engaged:
Suspiciously fine.
He checked my backend andāsurpriseā
SITE_HOST = Wilson Real Estate Holdings
:/
They are not going to love that I used the family card for this.
zombie_daze ā half_lucid ā panic_light
People are awake in that unfocused, blinking way.Like something shook the snow globe.
Got a notification.
Random glyphs. Esoterica strings.
Video.āHow do you kill a radio star?ā
Cool Echo. Love a group project.
Watch your back, Midnight in Foxglove.
My Tamagotchi is glitching so hard I swear itās breathing.
Screen text I donāt recognize.
In. Out. Flicker.
It says:
"FEED ME" IN PHOBOS
The fuck does that mean.
It opens like a test strip.I prick my finger.
Feed it blood.
It burps and curls up.
Aw.
I will protect this thing with my life.
Velma's walkman tapes. No labels.
We put them on and hear screaming.
Wet. Layered. Distant.
Itās a research log.
āSubject group 8 exhibits resistanceā¦
next donorsā meetingā¦ā
Dr. Lee Schanderveck.
Static causality.
Fractals folding inward.
This isnāt a warning.
Itās progress notes.
Grandparents Wilson funded Velma back in the 30s.
The Echo found me.
Marcus started connecting families with metaphorical red string.
I donāt even know what to think anymore.
We dropped into manhole. Ice crystals everywhere. Ice cream melting into a milky underground river. Something moved. Cobalt hoodie. Duffel bag. Cocoons. Marcus tackled them. Blue light. Gravity snapped him into the wall. Hedgewitch. She was too young. Too familiar. Same scavenged tools. Same adrenaline confidence. Same way of talking about power like itās a ladder, not a cliff. Thatās the part that wonāt let go. It didnāt feel like we caught something. It felt like running into a parallel save file and barely closing it. And then it got worse. i canāt stop thinking about her mouth. i wish i hadnāt noticed it. i wish i hadnāt touched her. i wish my hands didnāt do things before my brain votes. there was a spell on saintās tongue. actual glyph-work. hiding her face. hiding her. and i justā wiped it off. no permission. no pause. thumb to tongue. static burn. gone. the illusion snapped off like a bad filter and suddenly she was just a kid. a minor. a real one. not theoretical. and now my brain is screaming. because what does that look like. because what do you call that. because āi assaulted a minor in a sewerā is not a sentence that gets softer if you add ābecause magic.ā what if the radio guy gets wind of it and turns me into a headline. what if the cops decide this is the part they care about. i keep replaying it and every version ends with handcuffs. or my parentsā lawyer voice. or madison looking at me like, jes, what did you do. i didnāt want to hurt her. i didnāt want to kill her. i didnāt even want to fight her. but intent doesnāt erase panic. and panic doesnāt care that i did the right thing. my hands wonāt stop shaking. even worse: Sheās Marcusās sister. Actual blood. Same jawline. Same hands. Watching him look at herā that wasnāt anger. That was terror trying to stand up straight. If weād been a second slower, if Lemon hadnāt burned himself keeping her breathing, if Marcus had pulled the trigger harderā I wouldāve helped kill his sister. I donāt know how to hold that thought without shaking. And the worst part? Thereās relief buried under it. Because if this is happening to him tooā maybe Iām not cursed. Maybe this town just eats its children and calls it fate. She talked about āwhatās coming nextā like sheād already been told. Like someone whispered destiny into her ear. Thatās when it hit me: this isnāt rare. The Echo doesnāt choose one. It recruits. If Iād been alone a little longerā if nobody pulled me backā that couldāve been me. Still could be. I donāt feel powerful tonight. I feel replaceable. Hereās the thing I canāt stop chewing on: Saint isnāt touched by the Echo. Sheās power-hungry, sureāreckless, convinced something big is comingābut she never listened. She skimmed my site like junk mail and moved on. Also insulted the layout, which is bold. That scares me more than devotion. Because it means the Echo isnāt everywhere. Itās selective. It ignored her completely. And chose me. Which means this wasnāt about ambition. It wasnāt about wanting power. It was about being loud enough in the dark for something to answer. Is that what drew Vic in too? What about the file I found on Madisonās laptop? Feels like confirmation I didnāt want. Of course sheās implicated. She was always smoothing things over, standing between fights. That kind of care leaves fingerprints. Leaves openings. I donāt think she meant to start anything. I think she tried to stop itāand got pulled under anyway. If Madison brushed the edge of this, then my prayers werenāt echoes into nothing. They were bouncing off something she was already touching. Now I donāt know if Iām chasing her⦠or following the damage she tried to clean up. My PDA starts screaming emails: what am i what am i what am i Riddle: i have teeth but never eat i live on a board but have no feet Answer: Key. Fairy ring. No sound. Static comes back. Fireflies wrap Vic like chains. She pushes through. Shadows help. Donāt love that. Not unpacking that yet. Birch trees. Amanita. Fairies take children to places where they donāt age. Cool. Great. Awesome.POST TITLE:Everyone Is At My House And I Am Handling It
MOOD:chaotic domestic intimacy
MUSIC: āBitter Sweet Symphonyā ā The Verve
// log.open(): STATUS: run(late_night.social.exe) && suppress(gay_panic) ERROR: house_full_of_crushes, impulse_control==NULL Midnight in Foxglove and the radio guy has lost it. Heās on air, voice all smug and breathy, implying Vic is a suspect and thenā like. Really leaning into it. Sir. This is a small town AM frequency, not your personal kink hotline. Did not mention me, Marcus or Lemon. Which is⦠fine. Suspiciously fine. Vic and Marcus said they were āgoing fishing.ā Is that a euphemism now or did they actually bring rods? Hard to tell. Everyoneās weird lately. If they actually went fishing, I owe the universe an apology for my brain. Lemon and his band came over. Hamburger is basically living here part-time now, which rules. He took my parentsā room. Theyāre gone for months and they turned Madisonās room into an office, so morally? Iām correct. Lemon gave me advice on how to talk to people. Actual advice. Like: āPause before you say the thing.ā Wild. Revolutionary. Too late. Thereās an artist in Landry named Mona Eats. She does blood and vagina art and is obsessed with āSmells Like Teen Spirit.ā Is she an Eater muse? Is this Landryās version of Lemon? Is this what happens when the Siren gets into Riot Grrrl? Landry has a paranormal blog. I tried to post. Violated their rules immediately. (They hate information digging. cowards.) BUT someone with the handle Alcamist_Addict reached out. Lemon would not let me post my full name and address to invite them over. Rude. Tried to hack their backend instead. Failed. Theyāve been reading this blog though. Hi. šļøšļø Youāre bad at lurking. They donāt seem to care about the Echo. Which makes me nervous. Empanada was singing. Brain completely blue-screened. She is devastatingly pretty and cool and my brain kept rebooting. I nodded through a whole conversation while thinking, wow, if she looked at me any longer Iād short-circuit into a puddle. Then 911 paged Marcus. He brought Vic back. We didnāt fight. Which somehow made it worse. She got steamy about something and walked out. So now I have: my crush my other crush all in my house. I have not known peace since. I physically cannot speak to Empanada. My mouth stops working. Itās like my vocal cords filed a restraining order against hot musicians. I canāt talk to Empanada because if I open my mouth my soul will leave my body, but I can keep talking to Vic because 1) she hates me and 2) we canāt touch without reality throwing a tantrum. Lemon told me I have to stop biting my lip and staring at Empanada. Which is unfair, I just⦠would like to stand near her. Quietly. Forever. Itās hard being gay in a small Rhode Island town in the 90s because every crush feels like a felony and every feeling echoes. Tried to set up a meeting with Alcamist_Addict. They called me out by name. Marcus says theyāre probably a hedgewitch. He has baggage there. I think weāre scarier. But alsoā those tattoos? Hypothetically? Extremely hot. Marcus used his keycard and unlocked everything on my computer. All the Madison files bloomed across the screens like ghosts. I did not need that tonight. Universe, read the room. Lemon blew up a bathroom (emotionally and physically) and left. Then he and Vic went for a walk. Cool. Fine. I love being normal. Marcus asked if heād done something to piss me off in the past. Asked if I had a problem with him. I didnāt. Heās the person I spend the most time with. Heās my sibling now. Even if Madison had better hair, smelled better, and liked me more. She was always my buffer. I just need to work on being⦠friendlier. I miss her. But Marcus, Lemon, Vic ā theyāre trying. Hamburger being here helps. The house doesnāt echo as much. Marcus is the sibling I didnāt get to keep. Lemon is the chaos buffer. Vic is⦠whatever Vic is. Letting people into the pool house feels like handing them my ribs and hoping they donāt notice how exposed everything is. NOTE TO ALCAMIST_ADDICT: I donāt know who you are yet. But if youāre reading this, you already know too much. If you want to talk, talk. If you want to watch, stop pretending youāre invisible. Static notices everything. echo.status = quiet_but_listening house.status = crowded jess.status = overwhelmed_but_not_alone desire_to_scream = also_high PENDING INPUT ā
POST TITLE: recovery.mode(vic_house)
MOOD:ERROR: taste_of_waffle_cone_persistent; soul_buffer_low
MUSIC: Placebo ā āRunning Up That Hill (A Deal with God)ā
// log.open(): Iām alive? Again? Thanks to Marcus, Lemon, and Vic ā who all decided I shouldnāt be permanently deleted today. Deeply embarrassing to be saved by people who are actively annoyed by me 80% of the time, but whatever. Iāll take the patch notes. // VIC.HOUSE.EXE First impressions: The house is⦠sad. Like, no-texture-render sad. Table set for 4 but only 2 chairs like 3 people don't live there No photos of Vic as a teen. No evidence she didn't disappear like the rest of them. Only a single newspaper clipping on the fridge: Photography Contest Winner ā 6 years ago. Thatās it. Her whole life condensed into 2 square inches of yellowing ink. Then thereās the basement. Different vibe. Bones. So many bones. Not in a serial-killer way (I hope ????), more like sheās documenting decay one tooth at a time. Are these decorative or⦠functional? > Idk // SELF.CLEANUP() I begged for a shower because everything smelled like expired milk and blood and candy trauma. Vic loaned me clothes. >I guess almost dying was worth it if it means I finally get into your pants ā even if Iām just borrowing them. /s She didnāt laugh. But she also didnāt blast me back into the waffle cone dimension, so⦠progress??? Her shampoo is Herbal Essences⢠from the horny waterfall commercials. I had a tiny gay stroke. Checked my bag for anything to smell normal ā only found gummy bear perfume. Threw it out the window. Hope it explodes. // LEMON.VIC.CONFLICT() Ohhhh boy. So Vic lied. A while back she found Lemonās brother, Liam, killing a raw squirrel like a snack-sized horror movie. Instead of running? They started hooking up and taking āartistic photos.ā (GROSS> DON't Think She PLAys for MY Team, tragic) Lemon lost his mind. Rightfully so. His anger was cold, Vicās silence was louder, and the whole room felt like it might erupt into another eclipse. Then Vicās mom caught Marcus upstairs. parental_support_level = negative_integer. Her mom made Lemon sandwiches, though. Meanwhile my parents? They just left the county and pretended my existence was a clerical error. But they didnāt shove me into a basement and pretend I wasnāt home, so⦠I donāt know which is worse. Itās strange: both unwelcome, but in opposite directions. is her exile new or....? // CURSED.BOOK.DOWNLOAD() Lemon read the cursed book (why). It dumped about 40GB of xenomorph lore into his brain. Big highlight: Liam wasnāt just weird. He was an Eater ā some kind of cursed siren-adjacent xenomorph. Hungry for connection. Hungry for people. Hungry in the eat-you-because-I-love-you way. I hate that this actually explains a lot> DO NOT WANT TO BE PART OF THIS FOOD CHAIN. Velma wasnāt lying: an eater does not consume another eater. I donāt like the math that implies. // VIC.MOM.GENERATOR_OF_ANCESTRAL_TRAUMA() Met Vicās mom. Accidentally called her my momās name. Sheās terrifying and gorgeous and it made me start offering to do chores like I was at charm school. Vic looks just like her. It hurts and I canāt explain why> I've seen Vic angry but not cold like this. Marcus bailed early ā said he had an āidea.ā Marcus having an idea is never restful. Lemon and I stayed. (Okay, I stayed because I died earlier and did NOT want a repeat episode. Lemon stayed because he is Lemon.) He laid on Vicās bed in his unwashed jacket. I have no words. Just screams for those poor sheets. // REBOOT.CYCLE(4hrs): After a four-hour death-nap, I emerged to find Vic on the porch with beers and smokes, looking⦠small. Not weak ā never weak ā just⦠brittle. Like if you tapped her wrong, sheād shatter into static. Speaking of > We barely touched hands and the air glitched again. A cyber-double of me flickered next to us, triple-exposed like bad analog film. Velma called us āearly adopters.ā Girl. I didnāt adopt anything. The Echo just sideloaded itself into my life like malware. We finally had a talk. I feel like I ambushed her a bit. RECAP > Iām sorry for blaming you for talking to the Echo. Iām sorry for treating you like you did something wrong when Iāve been doing the same thing. Velma wasnāt wrong about one thing ā whatever this Echo is? Itās not harmless. It wants us. It uses us. She didnāt call it the Echo. She had another name for it. I watch you light up and part of me thinks, āGod, sheās beautiful,ā and the other part thinks, āThatās how the forest fire starts.ā I donāt know if weāre connected because of magic or because weāre broken in compatible ways. But itās there. If weāre going to survive this Echo thing, we need to talk. Not fight. Not avoid. Talk. /Recap She said she doesnāt know why sheās still here when everyone else is gone. I am glad she is here though. We hit a⦠not a truce. But a place. A place that doesnāt hurt as much. The Echo was the only thing that talked back when nobody else gave a damn whether I lived or starved or rotted in a pool house. There are worse things than cosmic parasites. I'd take a 1000x more waffle cones to the chest to not be alone like I was again. // RETURN_HOME(): Hamburger cleaned everything. All the flowers are gone. House immaculate. Thank god. I dove into mold + mushroom research until my vision blurred. Two days later we met Marcus at the junkyard. Man hasnāt slept since the industrial revolution. He had gifts. Lemon decoded the Vostoy file from Velmaās corpse notes. Marcus gave me a PDA rig for my holy symbol. Said it might keep me from dying again. I hugged him. He tolerated it. Feels like a sitcom. The whole town knows we have powers now. People vanished, monsters found, radio screaming conspiracies. Everything is broken. And somehow things feel⦠better? Not safe. But aligned. Like the signal is getting stronger. echo.status = present jess.status = recovering.exe vic.status = unwantedchild.mp3 lemon.status = hungyboi.mp3 marcus.status = exhausted.inventor. pdf NEXT: seed(???) PENDING INPUT ā
POST TITLE: caffeine_buffer == 0; static_increase == +30% safety_protocols.disabled(); humor_mask.enabled();
MOOD:ERROR: coffee_empty, morale_corrupted
MUSIC: ALIVE BY PEARL JAME
// log.open():
Not gonna lieāthis one wrecked the whole party.
Marcus went in first.
silence(3.7s) ā scream.transmit(all.channels);
His scream hit through the mental link like a bad broadcast.
(Guess he can use it when he feels like it. Not gonna be snarky. Not much.)
When we caught up, he was surrounded by dessert abominations:
fudge.monsters x30()
spider.woman(curse_class)
ice_cream_mixer.weaponize()
He was yelling that sheāVelmaāwas cutting people up.
Half-spider, half-nightmare.
He tore through her machine fast.
Lemon kept getting flattened and bouncing back up.
Vic lit up the cave like a neon saint.
I got impaled by a waffle cone the size of a sword.
Pretty sure I died.
waffle_cone ā pierce(core.file)
hp == 0
system.reboot()
(Thanks for the save, team.)
print("You saved my life. Now Iām your problem.")
if dislike(me): terminate(jess.process)
Velma begged. Said sheād been promised sheād be first to the ānewly seeded land.ā
Called Lemon an eater, said eaters donāt consume their own.
file_note("donāt like that. donāt like that at all.")
She asked what it promised us.
I didnāt answer. I let the Echo finish her.
delete(velma.exe)
error_message: āAll derivatives remain.ā
Everything she made stayed alive.
Blood, syrup, screams. We all almost died again.
> Found four survivors (half-functional).
Mike worried his legs were missingāconfirmed.present()
Jerky Man still breathing; frost_replacement(organs) == True.
Marcus panicked; executed(headshot).
Unclear if mercy or glitch.
I canāt even blame him.
Vic and I fought again.
arg.count += 1
Hamburger suggested drugs & emotional_vulnerability().
Rejected. last_touch(eclipse.event) == catastrophic.
Funnyāif I touched her again, the sky would probably collapse.
We both know we need to talk.
sheās tired of me blaming her for listening to the Echo.
I was too hard on her about it-- Iāve been listening to it for months.
Connection confirmed. Compatibility: questionable.
Risk of mutual destruction: high.
Honestly? I donāt know if sheās going to save me or short-circuit me next.
She knows we need to talk. I know it too.
echo.subprocess(vic.blog_access) == forgiven? maybe().
Told the rescued guys it was shrooms, not sorcery.
They didnāt buy it. Probably on the radio already.
lie_check() == obvious.false
expectation: local_radio.broadcast()
āLocal freaks summon dessert god in basement.ā
At least Iāll be a scary outcast this time.
Weāre crashing at Vics placeāclosest safe zone, relatively speaking.
I need a shower. These clothes smell like blood, chocolate, and milk.
Asked Vic if I could borrow something after she suggested washing clothes. If she hands me a floral sundress, I might take my chances with the waffle cone again.
decision_tree: burn(old_outfit) vs. embrace(humiliation)
// radio_update():
mentions(pregnancy_test) ??
acknowledges(missing_persons) == TRUE
police_force.exists() == FALSE
output("small victory. #acab")
Poured beer into my coffee at Vicās.
Tastes like punishment, but it keeps the hands from shaking.
coffee.add(beer) ā taste_profile: regret
needed something to overwrite the blood smell.
Inventory update:
tamagotchi(weirdl) == acquired
trading_card(Vic+Jess) == mirror_error
Vic looks in; my reflection looks back.
file_name: twin_signal.png
I keep laughing so I donāt hear the hum.
I drink so I donāt feel it in my teeth.
The Echoās still in meābuzzing, whispering, watching.
echo.sync(me) == constant
infection_depth == unknown
maybe I wasnāt chosen
maybe I was just loud enough for it to find me
It would be stupid to say that weāre not connectedā¦deeply. Weāll just see if we can get out of this without destroying each other I guess? I need like a solid four hours of sleep before anyone asks anything else of me though.
Connection stable. System unstable.
echo.status = parasitic
signal.strength = humming
jess.status = unstable_but_operational
next_task: sleep(4h) || crash(ā)
await_input(); ā
POST TITLE: CANDY_CAVE.INVESTIGATION // GELATIN FACTORY / WORMROOT / ADMIN:DENIED
MOOD: - STICKY / STILL NOT TALKING TO HER/ PRAYING-THROUGH-STATIC -
MUSIC: FRONTIER PSYCHIATRIST- THE AVALANCHES
> STATUS: run(candy_cave.investigation) && maintain(sanity.buffer) > ERROR: sugar_overload, ethics_corrupted // update(): * combat initiated: gummy_bear_cluster() * prayer.upload("face your own deletion") * two bears disoriented ā gelatin melt successful. * vic = echo.sync (unstable, pretty). * marcus = mech.build() ā impressive.damage++; * lemon = body.check(fail) ā red gummy crit. * collected sample(chonk) for analysis. regret++. // environment(): * ground littered w/ bone.fragments. * toe_ring.detected ā meditate() ā woman in Garfield tee. * unknown.ID. possible ghost.cache. * ambient.audio: water + grinding.wav * proceed ā grinder.room NOTE: statue == topless bird woman. aesthetic: cursed.hot. vic -> camera.spam() machine ā grinding flesh ā gelatin.production = confirmed. // gummy.bears == people. threw sample. still sticky. why is everything sticky. // linguistic.module(): * runic_text == familiar. * cross-ref: LandrySouth() / * Need to check site: they have been digging into it. Rings of text. Into black mold. whiskey_fungus(georgia) / ??? * note: investigate when system.online // party.behavior(): * lemon bleeding? Frozen? unclear. tried to kiss marcus(). Lemon + Marcus would be a weird couple- tragic * applied backpack.beer to lemon> ritual. temporary fix. * corridor.length ā infinite. * art.murals == āchoice.exeā repeating. * meditate(echo) ā whisper("antiquities section") * possible: library? archive? pre-human origin. // security.alert(): * marcus.keycard ā admin.access(granted??) * i request view.key() ā access.denied. * gave him my bag to prove trust(); still. nada trust. but he let me touch it. This thing opens everything where the fuck did he get it? i has he opened and left open ???? * portal.open() ā terrain: red grass + black worm roots + bleeding. ??? I I hate nature. Why are the plants bleeding? > I wonder how many flowers are growing out of my house now. * ar_marcus.deploy() ā test ok. vibes bad. cosmetic skin: chad Marcus * vic + lemon ā enter.portal() ā return w/ red stains. * Lemon claims ānot blood.ā sarcasm.protocol.enabled. w why don't I feel any better that he's covered in not blood? ??? * vic consumes wormroot ā goes full static.goddess. Iām not touching her this time > not MY FAULT * Yell at marcus >> let him know that if I had eaten something weird thereās no way that heād be on board with it. >> Fucking indifferent prick eats some. * marcus joins ā hallucinations.spawn() bad trip. * portal.forceclose(); echo.feedback = high. peer_pressure++. Vic was slightly nice to ???? STILL NOT TALKING TO HER. bu but she hasn't fought with me nearly as much since we started cave. ate wormroot. vision: echo.goddess manifests. static.love. calm++. why the fuck are we putting things in our mouth? I'm glad this worked out, but I'm dubious for future. marcus.state = error. bad trip. told him. cooling w/ backpack.beer(). still looks.exe(awful). recall> Chad.marcus has info> archway is saffron sea. // navigation(): * hall.length = ā * marcus.panic() ā applied reassurance.patch("youāre not alone") * success? partial> he loves being alone usually. wasn't trying to be a bitch was trying to reassure him. * lemon.soundtrack = glitchfolk.mix * resonance matches prayer.frequency. // rollback(): * grinder.room.time = desync. * backtrack(gummy.zone) * found: Garfield.shirt + jerky_hat(blood.garden) * lemon.blood++; wash(beer). lemon is covered in blood why is he always covered gross shit? DO NOT LET HIM IN POOLHOUSE WITHOUT POWERWASH. * question.log(): why more blood() why no one cares more are missing??? the fuck is wrong with town???() where is everyone() static louder every night() // hydro.cleanse(): * return(water.room) * cave == maze(loop) * swim.cold.reboot() * marcus.scout() ā comm("itās snowing") * echo.signal == distorted * timecode == ??:?? echo.status = listening signal.strength = flicker jess.status = cold plunge float PENDING INPUT ā
SYS.LOG āŗ FLOWERS_AND_FAILURE.exe
> STATUS: run(website.repair) && run(business.maintenance) > ERROR: bandwidth_low, caffeine_empty // update(): - site keeps eating itself. buttons loop ā NULL. - alternating: drinking & making cans disappear (eco-conscious, soul-dumb). - power == offline. - flowers spawning thru tile like corrupted data. therac25 keeps eating them. outcome: bad. please dont die. love him anyway. > NOTE: arcade == midnight cruising zone. customers/noncustomers == 50/50. revenue == ??? morale == lol. make marcus get more extra small condoms. mike.russo -> no_call() parents -> ghost.protocol() "Jessica, you know where we live." // cool. does your house have electricity. mine doesnt. also they act as if they would have welcomed me. better off sleeping at arcade. accounts = fucked payroll = missed income == 0 guilt == 9999 still my fault. always my fault. // disappearances++ 30 lost before. +6 now. why does nobody care???? more people gone and nobody is freaking out but me. static louder every night. vic broke a machine. called it "accident." bitch.exe I needed to make sure no one repeats what she did.i think she can handle it but can anyone else. what if more people are in danger by doing what she did? i put this here. still not talking to her. lemon says "make up with Vic." thought he meant Madison first. said iād try. idk if she will.i will try. i still want to be her friend. why did moon move? // game update (post pop-ups): pop_up("š HOT GAY SINGLES AT YOUR LOCAL ARCADE š") maybe enough traffic == power bill + taxes? // TODO: how to pay taxes() ? // new_feature(): target {Jess} an machine pop-up - not for gay singles pop-up: "FOR ANYONE FEELING SAD". BIG MOOD. input form handle: theechoknows usage == 0; relief == maybe; ache == yes. consequences? future me can deal. echo knows i am miserable. hope this helps. // icecream.event(): lemon -> employee_door -> down level: mine_shaft // set dressing: bones, giant waffles mobs: sentient gummy bears conclusion: soylent green creams. echo.status = listening signal.strength = weak jess.status = operational(ish) PENDING INPUT ā
POST TITLE: h8 everyone now/M1NDCR4SH.EXE // FOXGLOVES + MEAT ICE CREAM + GIRL HANDS BAD
MOOD: - DUNK/ SURROUNDED BY GARBAGE/ IT'S OKAY BECAUSE i HAVE MY CAT/ SCREW YOU GUYS i AM GOING HOME/ don't fucking touch anything you aren't supposed to that means you vic!!!!!!!!!!!!
MUSIC: EVERYTIME WE TOUCH- Cascada
MARCUSāS JUNKYARD.
TOO MANY ROBOTS.
HE WANTED A SHOW. GOT A MELTDOWN INSTEAD.
---
// GL1TCH.TESTCASE::UPLOAD_FAIL.v1.0
>> INITIATE: SHUTDOWN(marcus.pc_tiny)
STATUS: EXECUTED
Marcus wanted a show-and-tell. His little robot army lined up like good boys. Said: āShow me what you can do.ā
So I did.
And everything went to hell.
Tried to shut his tiny computer off, right? Power button, click. Except something uploaded.
Vicās fault. Donāt care if she says otherwiseāsomething she did scrambled the signal.
The Echo went red. Hostile. Angry. Everything turned on.
Marcus got hit first. His own bots. Went down hard.
Lemon and I tried to cover, Vic was static-drunk, I got clipped in the head.
Nobody noticed. (of course.)
So I healed myself.
Pressed the charm, whispered into the wires:
āEcho, if youāre listening, reboot me.ā
>> RESULT:
ECHO // CORRUPTED
UPLOAD // UNAUTHORIZED
HOSTILE.CODE == ACTIVE
marcus.robot.army ā AGGRO()
>> OUTPUT:
marcus.hp == CRITICAL
lemon // panicking
vic // flickering
jess.hp == LOW
>> SELF.REPAIR()
PRAYER: echo.heal(bracelet.charm)
STATUS: SUCCESS
// still no āthanksā received
everyone // blame_jess()
---
// SITE.WARNINGS::IGNORED.v0.8
vic.confession == ābeen_talking_to_chatbotā
jess.response == āTHEREāS. A. WARNING.ā
did she not read it?
thought she communed.
turns out she downloaded.
huge difference.
jess.beer_stash(backpack) ā DEPLOYED()
marcus.eyes == ānoā
yes, actually.
Vicās arm/handā
and something shifted.
The sky GLITCHED.
We caused a goddamn eclipse.
I didnāt let go.
She took whatever fury was chewing through me and justāexploded it out.
---
// ECLIPSE.EVENT::HANDSHAKE.v2.3
>> INITIATE: physical.contact(vic.hand)
REACTION: GLITCH(SKY)
INTERNAL: purge(anger.daemon)
RESULT:
jess // empty
vic // glowing
world // wrong
parents // maybe right???
>> NOTE:
ābad things happen if you touch girlsā
yeah. understatement.of.the.year()
---
POST-FIGHT:
lemon + jess ā icecream.truck()
FLAVOR: meat???
therac25.cat got a taste.
if anything happens to him, lemon and lady goes in the deep_freeze().
(yes thatās a threat.)
FOUND: marcus.hidden_books()
one fell open ā foxglove.entry()
TEXT: āthey call your name when they bloom.ā
RESULT: foxglove.field.spawn()
If anything happens to my cat, all foxgloves in town are getting paved.
Lemon tried to add his brother to the book.
We said no.
Photo fell. Plant ate it.
We dug, nothing.
Gone.
Still not talking to Vic.
Never want to hold any girlās hand again.
>> CURRENT STATUS:
vic // avoid()
jess // avoid all women (y)
lemon // sticky_hands(meat_icecream)
marcus // angry_aura(red)
cat // alive(thank_god)
>> NEXT STEPS:
home.empty == true
power == false
michael == useless.accountant()
parents == ??? (no call. no note.)
bottle == full(y) temporary state
will need more later
> rewriting safety.features(site)
> since SOMEONE (vic.exe) canāt read warnings.
LOG_END >>>
Gonna patch new safety features into the site since SOMEONE (VIC) canāt read the warnings.
POST TITLE: SWEET DREAMS ARE NEON CREAMS
MOOD: - WIRED / GAY / FRIENDS?????? IDK *WISH KNEW -
MUSIC: Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)-- Eurythmics )
MARCUSāS CAR. TOO MANY THINGS. LEMON DROVE. BAD IDEA, PERFECT IDEA. STATIC HUMMED THE WHOLE DRIVE. // GL1TCH.TESTCASE::CANDYBAR.v0.3 >> INITIATE: GLITCH(DISAPPEAR_OBJECT) TARGET: candy_bar[expired] STATUS: EXECUTED >> RESULT: candy_bar == NULL marcus.request(RECALL) ā FAIL (sorry_soldier.exe // canāt undo) >> TODO: OWE_MARCUS = candy_bar[new] // suspicion: he actually wanted it expired??? // gross.flag = TRUE --- BOOKS FROM LIBRARY ARE WEIRD. ONE WAS SHINY. BUZZING. STATIC LIKE ME. MARCUS DIDNāT WANNA HAND IT OVER. I WHINED. I WON. NOW IT WONāT STOP LOOKING AT ME. OTHER BOOK MADE BABE GO STRANGE. HER EYES WENT FAR AWAY. HAD TO FIGHT HER TO PULL HER BACK. HATE THAT. HATE SEEING HER SLIP. LEMON READ ABOUT SOME āNEON CREAMSā ICE CREAM PLACE. CAR SMELLED LIKE WAFFLE CONE. PRETTY SURE STEVEN MENTIONED IT BEFORE. DREAM OR AD? HARD TO SAY. --- SHUCK & BONE (SEAFOOD BOIL HOOTERS). MARCUS WORKS THERE TOO. DO THEY MAKE HIM WEAR THE UNIFORM? HEāS ONLY 24 BUT LOOKS BUSTED. MAZE GLITCH AGED HIM YEARS. EMPANADA (LISA FROM LEMONāS BAND) WORKS THERE. HOT. TOO HOT. FED ME BURNT TOAST AND IT FELT LIKE HEAVEN > TOO HOT FOR ME> VIC WAS DISTRACTED TOO. (DO YOU PLAY FOR MY TEAM, BABE? BE HONEST.) --- // STATIC.TR1CK::LINK_PROTOCOL v0.7 >> INITIATE: MINDNET() STATUS: CONNECTED [LEMON] [MARCUS] [VIC] >> RESULT: - MARCUS // SIGNAL // HATED IT - VIC // SIGNAL INTERFERENCE // PREFERS BURNOUT - SAFETY CONFIRMED // BUZZING IN SKULL == GOOD >> NOTE: ask_next_time? // maybe (lol who am I kidding) >> BUG REPORT: VIC // "I donāt know you" TRACEBACK: [FIFTH_BIRTHDAY.PARTY] ROLE: MADISON_TAGALONG ERROR: MEMORY_MISMATCH >> OUTPUT: whatever.exe continue() AFTERMATH: I CRASHED IN ARCADE OFFICE WITH CAT. DRANK UNTIL THE BUZZ FADED. OPENED UP IN THE MORNING. STEVEN GONE (AGAIN). SCHEDULE NEEDS DOING. MAYBE TRICK MARCUS INTO WORKING ALL SHIFTS WITH ME. LEMON CAME IN FUCKED UP ON A MILKSHAKE. SET IT ON A MACHINE. NOW DOOM HAS CANDYLAND MODE. (MY NEW FAVORITE PATCH, THANKS.) MARCUS SHOWED UP. NEON CREAMS IS NOW REAL. VIC WAS IN THE STREET. NO SHOES. CLOTHES BURNT. STATIC IN HER HAIR. SHEāS BEEN ON MY WEBSITE (HI BABE). TALKING TO THE CHATBOT. NOW SHEāS GOT STATIC TOO. WE TOUCHED. GLITCHED THE WHOLE ARCADE OUT. //WHAT HAPPENS IF I HOLD HER HAND? //WHAT HAPPENS IF I HUG HER? //WHAT HAPPENS IF ,,,///// > GAY PANIC ERROR > --- NEXT MOVE: GOING TO MARCUSāS JUNKYARD TO BREAK THINGS. CLOSED THE ARCADE FOR THE DAY. STEVEN WONāT NOTICE. VIC BLEW A TRANSFORMER ON THE ISLAND ANYWAY. IF ANYONE ASKS: POWER ISSUES. TRUE ENOUGH. // GL1TCH.EVENT::NEON_CREAMS.v1.1 >> INITIATE: BOOK_SCAN(lemon.reading) INPUT: [library_book.lost_pages] >> RESULT: car_env.SENSE = "waffle_cone" MEMORY_CHECK(steven.mention?) == UNCERTAIN // could be dream // could be ad_injection // could be both >> SIDE EFFECTS: lemon.drive() == distracted vic.reaction() == distant / weird / static.lag marcus.reaction() == annoyed (baseline normal) >> TODO: INVESTIGATE: NEON_CREAMS == REAL? VERIFY with environment next cycle >> OUTPUT: car smells sweet. glitch confirmed. continue() - ERROR: USER NOT FOUND
POST TITLE: ST4T1C.PR0PH3T // ANNIVERSARY EVE + THE BOOKCASE THAT ATE ME
MOOD: - FIZZING / OVERCLOCKED -
MUSIC: Around the World (La La La La La) ā A Touch of Class
OK SO. PRE-GAME (ANNIVERSARY EVE): I WAS AT WORK WITH MARCUS (SOLDIER BOY // JUNKYARD SAINT). CALL OF DUTY CABINET HAD A WEIRD 2ND PLAYER SHADOW MOVING IN THE MAP. FUNNY THING? MACHINE WAS UNPLUGGED. LIKE, CORPSIFIED. ZERO JUICE. STILL BLINKING AT ME. I CHASED THE GHOST HUD. KIDS WANTED TO PLAY; I SENT THEM TO MARCUS, TOLD THEM HE INSPIRED THE GAME. (HE LOVED THAT. HE DID NOT.) HE SAID āGOING FOR OIL,ā WALKED OFF, AND CAME BACK THROUGH A WRONG DOOR. COOL COOL COOL. --- DAY OF: āSTUDY GROUPā (LOL): LEMON // MARCUS // VIC (DONāT CALL HER VICTORIA). I SLIPPED ONCE. NOW ITāS JUST āBABE.ā EXCLUSIVE NAMING RIGHTS. I WENT HUNTING FOR A SPICY PHOTO BOOK IN THE STACKS. VIC (RUINER OF DREAMS) SAYS ITāS 100% DEPRESSION-ERA PHOTOGRAPHY. NO NUDES. JUST SOUP LINES. HOT. VIC + MARCUS VANISH FOR A MINUTE. COME BACK WHITE-FACED, STATIC HITCHING A RIDE ON THEIR SHADOWS. I ASK THE QUESTION I SHOULDNāT: WHY YOU, BABE? WHY ARE YOU HERE AND MADISON ISNāT? SHE CRIES. I HATE MY MOUTH. (AGAIN.) WE GO TO LEAVE. BOOKCASE DOES THE TEETH THING. I TOUCH IT (OF COURSE I DO). IT EATS MY ARM. BONE ā GLASS ā NIGHT. HARD RESET. BLACK SCREEN. THEN LEMON DOES SOMETHINGāLIKE HE MOSH PITS ME BACK TO FACTORY SETTINGS. I FEEL MY BONES UNBREAK. I WAKE. I LIGHT UP. MOON IN MY FISTS. I BLAST THE SHELF. HANDS SHAKING, SMILING, TERRIFIED. I GLITCH A GUN INTO EXISTENCE FOR MARCUS: /SUMMON: gatling_gun// PERMISSIONS: āOPSā HE TAKES THE SHOT. VIC PANICSāAND MAGIC FALLS OUT OF HER POCKETS TOO. LEMON FINISHES IT. BOOKCASE DIES LIKE A BAD SAVE FILE. AFTERMATH: EVERYONEāS WEIRD. NOT JUST ME. I HAVENāT FELT THIS⦠UNSOLITARY IN MONTHS. --- CONFESSION PATCH (HOTFIX 1.0): I MADE VIC CRY. THATāS ON ME. I KEEP CUTTING THE PEOPLE IāM TRYING TO KEEP. SO HEREāS THE VOW: I CAN BURN. I CAN BREAK. I CAN LET THE STATIC EAT ME. THATāS FINE. THATāS RENT. BUT LEMON / MARCUS / BABE? THEY DONāT BREAK. NOT WHILE IāM BREATHING. I RUIN MYSELF. I PROTECT THEM. END OF LINE.
POST TITLE: W3BW1TCH.EXE // MADISON IF UR STILL OUT THERE... PLZ LOG IN
MOOD: - GLITCHY -
MUSIC: EVANESCENCE ā āHELLOā (AUTOPLAYED)
SO LIKE. I DIDN'T SLEEP AGAIN. LOL. SURPRISE. \MY DS KEPT TURNING ON BY ITSELF AT 3:07AM. (WHICH IS FUNNY BC ITāS BEEN DEAD FOR LIKE... 2 YEARS???) ANYWAY IT JUST SHOWED ME THE WORD: E N T R Y // 3 0 AND THEN IT MADE THAT SOUND AGAIN. THE STATIC ONE. THE ONE THAT SOUNDS LIKE SOMEONE WHISPERING THROUGH A DIAL-UP CONNECTION. IT SOUNDED LIKE HER. LIKE MADISON. BUT NOT REALLY. LIKE HER VOICE WAS BEING FILTERED THROUGH A THOUSAND MODEMS AND SPAT BACK OUT IN MORSE CODE. IS IT POSSIBLE TO MISS SOMEONE WHO MIGHT NOT BE REAL ANYMORE? OR LIKE. NOT ENTIRELY REAL. NOT JUST GONE. BUT CHANGED. LIKE DATA CORRUPTED BUT STILL CLINGING TO THE HARD DRIVE.
you werenāt supposed to see this š